ali: we should do a pies’n’capes for Arrow. i mean Hamman.
jenn: you mean Batlet.
jenn: OH I KNOW THIS ONE.
jenn: he likes any pie, as long as it is a la mode.
ali: Nananananananananana HAMMAAANNNNNNNNN
ali: OK no seriously, we’re doing Loki Pies ‘n’ Capes.
jenn: but there are no pies and capes in my braaaaain.
ali: remember we were going to do the butterscotch pie thing but we forgot how we got there.
jenn: yes ‘cause it was after Boobs and Dragons and it was late.
ali: something about it being a weird pie… or that it was really sugary and Kid Loki likes milkshakes so he’d like a really sweet pie… maybe?
jenn: we can’t retroactively make this funny. it’s like re-recording a podcast and trying to remember that really great joke about butterscotch and Loki and it just doesn’t work.
ali: we could just say that…
jenn: … this is a very meta post
jenn: so we have to do the Tastykake Cherry Cheesecake, because Paul asked us to, and i already know who it’s for.
ali: ok, who?
jenn: The Punisher.
jenn: yes! because listen, you can only be a hardass for so many hours of the day. and Tastykakes are quick and easy to get, and easily concealable. they are his guilty pleasure. and the Cherry Cheesecake one is clearly his favorite, because it’s the tastiest.
ali: oh! and if he gets cherry stains on his outfit he can always say it’s blood.
jenn: ok so tell me this theory again.
ali: ok. so. we decided at Pi(e) Day that Scott and Logan would totally fight over the Pear Ginger Pie. even though Jean is kind of not entirely a ginger? but she kind of is. and also she’s sassy and awesome. and it’s a pie that could kind of be, like, umm, boring, pear. but it’s sassy! because it has the ginger. or it’s tart. or whatever. it has KICK. so i think Pear Ginger Pie would be the perfect one for Jean Grey, and obviously then Wolverine and Cyclops would fight over it. her. you know.
jenn: i ate a piece so the picture would look better.
(credit also goes to Faust for starting the whole ginger-Jean comparison)
jenn: do you want to talk about pumpkin pie?
ali: we should talk about pumpkin pie.
ali: i was thinking Hellboy.
jenn: we already did Hellboy! he’s totally cherry pie.
ali: i don’t know, i just have this image of Hellboy singing “She’s My Cherry Pie.”
ali: i think it should be some kind of weird Vertigo character or something. like Sandman. but Sandman is probably too emo for pie.
jenn: i bet Power Girl likes pumpkin pie.
ali: i was going to say Kitty Pryde. and you know, she could phase through it. because it’s a denser pie…
ali: let’s go with PowerGirl. although, i don’t know if Power Girl eats pie.
jenn: [sputtering] are you — i mean — have you MET Power Girl? she has a cat, and wears cute sweaters and funky rain boots, and totally loves pie. PUMPKIN pie.
ali: argument settled!
this installment we are joined by guest pie expert, Paul Montgomery!
jenn: what kind of pie do you think Agent Coulson likes?
paul: [instantly] rhubarb.
ali: rhubarb, or strawberry rhubarb?
paul: just rhubarb.
ali: you can’t have only rhubarb in a pie, it’s too tart. and anyway, how do you know that he would like it?
paul: he just would. i feel like i know him after all these movies.
ali: i think maybe peach? apple, probably, honestly, when you think about it. he’s a patriot, he would like apple pie. or maybe he would like chocolate cream pie. he would like chocolate cream pie more than Batman would.
paul: he likes ALL THE PIES.
jenn: thanks paul!
paul: i feel like i’ve been used.
ali: i don’t think Batman has a pie.
jenn: ooooohhh, but he could!
ali: Batman doesn’t even eat pie.
jenn: he does too! you don’t think Alfred makes pies? Alfred totally makes pies.
ali: yeah but Batman doesn’t eat them. he’s sad all the time. you can’t be sad and eat pie. the Robins eat pie, that’s why Alfred keeps making them.
jenn: [is laughing too hard to keep typing]